Tuesday, September 18, 2012

To Mitt:

Dear Mr. Romney,

I saw what you said about 47% of the country and I wanted to respond.

Well, Mittens, I'm not dependent on the Government. I mean, I wouldn't mind if somebody threw me a little subsidy every once in a while, but I've been holding down a regular gig for quite a while. No Welfare. No Food Stamps. No Earned Income Credit. Just me and my taxes. The pittance of unemployment I collected about 10 years ago has been paid back in spades, and I'm pretty sure I'd paid most of it forward in the first place. Hell, if Bush hadn't skull-fucked the economy I probably wouldn't have been out of work in the first place, but that's another story about another pampered trust-fund pansy who never earned a mother fucking thing on his own.

I'm voting for Obama because, well, fuck you, that's why. How's that? I'm tired of silver-spoon cocksuckers like you milking your trust fund and your daddy's connections for a monumental advantage in life so you can turn around and act like you actually made something of yourself. You dirty, rat-faced scoundrel! You've got hundreds of millions of dollars squirreled away in off shore accounts. You cheated on your taxes for more than a decade and then wiped it all away when you were offered tax amnesty. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to cover some withholding clusterfuck a previous employer bestowed upon me when they didn't send the IRS taxes they skimmed off my bonus check. I'm on the hook for a couple hundred, but you get to make millions vanish. Fuck you. Fuck your hatchet-faced wife who wouldn't know hard times if they kicked her in the vulva. Fuck your moderately inbred, good-for-nothing brats too. And fuck your dressage horses.

Fuck the 13% you pay in taxes.

Is my language to harsh for your cult-ass Mormon sensibilities? Well, fuck them, too.

Fuck you for being a typical rich dick, but fuck you most of all for casting aspersions on me and, oh, the 100 million other people like me. Or is it 150 million? It's a lot of us, whatever it is. 47%?

You're going to sit there in that house your great grand daddy built for you and look down on people like me? Let me tell you something, Mitt: YOU DIDN'T BUILD THAT. Yeah, like I said, fuck you, asshole.

Let me tell you something else, Mitt, that kind of talk is the kind of talk people like you reserve for the private conference room of the most uppity country clubs because if you popped off like that to a regular person you'd end up having to file a court order to get your teeth removed from somebody's fist.

Oh, and Fuck anybody who has the lousy sense of judgment to vote for you, too.

Regards, Steve

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